Mrs Cameron’s Diary

The Guardian regularly publishes a remarkable diary for Samantha Cameron; as seen by Catherine Bennett of course. Overall, this is truly excellent insight into the life of the posh leadership of the Tory party and today’s Mrs Cameron’s diary: FGS mother, compassion is back IN is no exception. It can be extracted as follows: Well I said to Mummy, literally their entire family has gone mad, she’s like, do not say I did not warn you, I’m like, Oedipus Rex does not begin to cover it, she’s like, was that not Medea, I’m like, well if Medea has, like, dumb petitions & literally, like AUNTS embarrassing their own actual nephew on ITN, IRL, totally 😦 Mummy’s like, well Medea was certainly a most uncaring mother, once she had embarked upon her tragic course of revenge, or so I am told, I’m like, my POINT, what kind of person signs a petition against her son? Mummy’s like, and you’re quite sure nobody accidentally provoked her into a filicidal rage, people can feel very strongly about their hanging baskets, I’m like, well it is the council they ought to murder, nobody hates the cuts more than Dave, he was all set to go on hunger strike if his mother had not got there first 😦 Mummy’s like, well has he thought of getting her imprisoned, just until 2018, I’m like, I wish, she’s like, or humane tagging might work, I’m like, FGS mother, keep up, punishment is OUT & compassion is back IN, she’s like since when, I’m like, since Nancy started the legacy speeches, every Monday, so people will remember that Dave is all about fixing, God what did Nancy put – our super deepest social somethings? Mummy’s like, let me guess – buy to let! I’m like, God, IDK, there was defo one about parents, plus prisons, cats, elitism – I swear you would not believe how scandalously mean IDS has been to the poor, Dave was literally like, omigod, will nobody give them Oxbridge places #SOemosh? Mummy’s like, darling Dave is literally a SAINT, I’m like, IKR, plus can you believe Oik cut English classes for Muslim ladies, Dave is livid, Mummy’s like, darling, how scandalous, I’m like IKR, & Dave can’t stand ghastly David Cameron for being a scandalous & unprincipled instrument of the one per cent, did you know *puts on scandalised face* that the richest 62 people in the world own the same as the poorest 50 per cent?

Mummy’s like, darling how convenient, I’m like, IKR, you can ask all of them to the Black & White Ball & still have plenty of room for the pornographers 🙂

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